• FF

Fweets. (Fake tweets) 11/9/21

I impressed the staff at the weed store. They thought I was stylish & cool. If I keep this up, I could be HomeGrower Queen!


What level of thin is it where lots of dumb men pay to see you naked, because I have a growing need for Mini Museum collectibles & this plesiosaur tooth has my name on it.


Squid Game to Japanese people is when the live squid you’re eating tries to fight back.


I’m a, “I’ll wear flip flops all through winter but complain I’m cold” kind of Midwestern.


The 4th season of Welcome Back, Kotter should be renamed, “Where are you, Mr. Kotter?”


My voice is permanently going to be on these history audio tours. Does this mean I will eventually get to rub microphones with the Google Maps lady and maybe even Siri?!

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