Fweets 11/18/21

The Ancient Egyptians had Canopic Jars to keep the organs of mummies in.

My dying wish is to have my loved ones keep my organs on the counter in kitchen cannisters. So my heart is always with you…

I understand what they are trying to say but doughnut holes are very much not holes. Regular doughnuts have more actual holes.

Call them doughnut middles instead,

Or doughnut rounds!

I wake up every day in this feeble human body and yell “glitch in the matrix!!!” Just so they know that I know they done fucked up.

If our first dance isn’t “Electric Love” from Bob’s Burgers, I don’t want it.

When I fiercely need pancakes at 1am on a Thursday, I call them depressed cakes.